周末笑话
本帖最后由 逸轩 于 2011-10-15 18:20 编辑 <br /><br /><P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><BR>(1)</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">、</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">主考官问参加考汽车驾驶执照的比奇：</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">假如你看到一条狗和一个人在前面，你是轧狗还是轧人？</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">比奇毫不犹豫地答道：</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">当然轧狗。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">主考官摇了摇头说：</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">你下次再来吧。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">比奇不服气，反问道：</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">我不轧狗，难道你要我去轧人。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Verdana'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">你应该急刹车。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">主考官慢条斯理地说。</SPAN></P><P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">(2)</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"> 某驾校，学员在乡村公路上开车<FONT face="Times New Roman">, </FONT><FONT face=宋体>突然马路上出现一群鸭子</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">, </FONT><FONT face=宋体>学员正在考虑如何处理</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">, </FONT><FONT face=宋体>教练马上提醒到</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">:"</FONT><FONT face=宋体>鸭</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">,</FONT><FONT face=宋体>鸭</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">,</FONT><FONT face=宋体>鸭</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">", </FONT><FONT face=宋体>学生理解</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">("</FONT><FONT face=宋体>压</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">,</FONT><FONT face=宋体>压</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">,</FONT><FONT face=宋体>压</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">"),</FONT><FONT face=宋体>回答</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">"</FONT><FONT face=宋体>恩</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">", </FONT><FONT face=宋体>加大油门</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">,</FONT><FONT face=宋体>冲过去</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">,</FONT><FONT face=宋体>鸭死一群</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">....</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"> </SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">（3）</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">、</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">大轿车司机车经过一个山村时向一位居民打听：</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">请问，此地哪里可以找到汽车配件？</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">往前走，过了那个急转弯处有个峡谷，那下边多的是。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">”</SPAN></P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"></SPAN> </P>
<P style="LINE-HEIGHT: 18.75pt; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255)" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'; mso-shading: rgb(255,255,255)">(4)<FONT face=宋体>、</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '微软雅黑'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'; mso-shading: rgb(255,255,255)">一美女新学驾照，驾车行至十字路口，遇红灯。停车，等红灯灭，少许绿灯亮，起步几次都未成功！又红灯，等，绿灯亮，起步又失败！再红灯。。。。。。路口警</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'; mso-shading: rgb(255,255,255)">察很</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '微软雅黑'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'; mso-shading: rgb(255,255,255)">是焦虑地跑了过</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'; mso-shading: rgb(255,255,255)">去</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '微软雅黑'; BACKGROUND: rgb(255,255,255); COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 16pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'; mso-shading: rgb(255,255,255)">，敲开车窗问：<FONT face="Times New Roman">“</FONT><FONT face=宋体>你还没有等到你喜欢的颜色吗？！</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">”</FONT></SPAN></P><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">(5)<FONT face=宋体>、</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">警察站在一汽车旁，他对司机说：</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">我应对你处以罚款，要知道，这条街道上的车辆只能单向行驶。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">‘</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">那么，我现在就把车头掉头。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">这里禁止掉头。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">那我就把车停在这里。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">这里严禁停车。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">”</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><BR></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">“</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">那么，你出个价吧，如果不低，这辆车就归您了。</SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">”</SPAN></P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><o:p></o:p></SPAN> </P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'">(6)Pol.ice<FONT face=宋体>：怎么有酒味？</FONT><FONT face="Times New Roman">/</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><FONT face=宋体> 雷人：喝了杯啤酒。</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> Pol.ice</FONT><FONT face=宋体>：啤酒也是酒！</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><FONT face=宋体><FONT face="Times New Roman"> </FONT>雷人：请问蜗牛是牛吗？</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> Pol.ice</FONT><FONT face=宋体>：不是。</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><FONT face=宋体><FONT face="Times New Roman"> </FONT>雷人：请问酱油是油吗？</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> Pol.ice</FONT><FONT face=宋体>：不是。</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><FONT face=宋体><FONT face="Times New Roman"> </FONT>雷人：新娘是娘吗？</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><FONT face="Times New Roman"> Pol.ice</FONT><FONT face=宋体>：不是。</FONT></SPAN></P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><FONT face=宋体><FONT face="Times New Roman"> </FONT>雷人：</FONT></SPAN><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"><o:p></o:p></SPAN></P>
<P style="TEXT-ALIGN: justify; MARGIN-TOP: 0pt; MARGIN-BOTTOM: 0pt" class=p0><SPAN style="FONT-FAMILY: '宋体'; COLOR: rgb(0,0,0); FONT-SIZE: 15pt; mso-spacerun: 'yes'"> <IMG style="CURSOR: pointer" src="http://image39.360doc.com/DownloadImg/2011/10/1511/18497654_1.gif">这不结了。</SPAN></P> 祝朋友们周末愉快 搞笑啊 呵呵呵 (6)Pol.ice：怎么有酒味？/
雷人：喝了杯啤酒。
Pol.ice：啤酒也是酒！
雷人：请问蜗牛是牛吗？
ol.ice：不是。
雷人：请问酱油是油吗？
Pol.ice：不是。
雷人：新娘是娘吗？
Pol.ice：不是。
雷人：
这不结了。
哈哈，周末快乐。
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