【临屏点评众诗友诗词小集】（一）
<span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">1.【护士节】文/星河一雁</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">玉立衣冠明似雪，提灯淑女作师贤。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">技高五指行针巧，话暖三春解意全。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">暴力时侵偏忍恨，恶言屡怼怎堪怜？</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">节期周末休闲少，总有清姝夜未眠。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">【临屏欣赏点评】文/三笑</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">玉立衣冠明似雪，提灯淑女作师贤。——首联白衣天使形象尽显。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">技高五指行针巧，话暖三春解意全。——颔联对仗工稳，高超的技术与温暖如春的护理是疾病早日康复的根本。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">暴力时侵偏忍恨，恶言屡怼怎堪怜？——颈联对仗严谨，很痛心的现实。哎！这也是很无奈的医疗纠纷，希望体制早日完善，还天使一个有安全感的工作环境。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">节期周末休闲少，总有清姝夜未眠。——尾联写出护士工作的繁忙与敬业精神。如不了解护理工作是写不出这么好的律诗。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">2.【五律.豫章香樟树（二）护冢老樟】 文/云木欣欣 </span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">山人曾仰叹，弹指几轮回。每遇凄风恸，犹疑故友来。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">绕台遮密雨，背日积青苔。泉下如闻是，狂歌对举杯。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">【临屏欣赏点评】文/三笑</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">山人曾仰叹，弹指几轮回。——首联落笔有沧桑之感。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">每遇凄风恸，犹疑故友来。——全诗最令人动容的颔联。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">绕台遮密雨，背日积青苔。——场景描白有画面感。感觉“绕台”可再斟酌，换个描写樟树的词，是不是更扣题？</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">泉下如闻是，狂歌对举杯。——结句升华，有一种释放感！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;"><br>3.【五律.豫章香樟树（四）生机重现】 文/云木欣欣 </span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">天寒凝湿翠，万树裹冰霜。不啻弯腰苦，还兼断臂伤。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">日开重抖擞，垒破复轩昂。又逗丝光鸟，穿梭为食忙。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">丝光鸟：指丝光椋鸟，为本地留鸟，冬季食物短缺时常在樟树林集群活动，喜啄食樟树籽。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">【临屏欣赏点评】文/三笑</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">天寒凝湿翠，万树裹冰霜。——感觉冷的不要不要滴</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">不啻弯腰苦，还兼断臂伤。——拟人的手法，好心疼！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">日开重抖擞，垒破复轩昂。——读之，精神一抖！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">又逗丝光鸟，穿梭为食忙。——表面写鸟，实写樟树的作用。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;"><br>4.【七律•游白帝城（1983年11月7日于船上）】文/道边余事</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">1983年10月23日—11月19日在葛洲坝实习，期间参观未来的三峡坝址三斗坪，顺便游览三峡风光，登上了白帝城。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">兴高何惧千级磴，转眼徜徉殿宇间。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">白帝庙说先帝恨，托孤堂论代孤嫌。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">遥思疆场腥风地，更信宫闱血雨天。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">观星亭下吟李杜，夔门眺望送行船。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">【临屏欣赏点评】文/三笑</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">道边先生终于更新空间了，很高兴，83先生就写诗词了~~那时我还只是喜欢阅读阶段！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">兴高何惧千级磴，转眼徜徉殿宇间。——感觉到了年轻时的步履</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">白帝庙说先帝恨，托孤堂论代孤嫌。——古胜说古，对仗叠进，史感强！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">遥思疆场腥风地，更信宫闱血雨天。——怀古遥思，战场的腥风与宫廷血雨，同旅游胜地形成了鲜明对比！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">观星亭下吟李杜，夔门眺望送行船。——近景吟李杜，远景送行船，画面感强。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">随着道边先生的文笔游走，浏览白帝城名胜古迹，快哉！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">5.【青玉案•避暑山中有记】文/新难得糊涂</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">流金烁石惊来早。客行路、浑如烤。知是人间真草草。半生梦醒，四方蝉扰。何处消烦恼？</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">不如直赴青山岙，放任流云入怀抱。竹雨松风多或少。无关案牍，无关机巧。人与花同好。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">【临屏欣赏点评】文/三笑</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">流金烁石惊来早。客行路、浑如烤。知是人间真草草。半生梦醒，四方蝉扰。何处消烦恼？上片落笔描出了酷夏的焦躁与人生感怀，用问句留下一个让读者读下去的理由，半生梦醒，四方蝉扰一语双关，都懂的，何处消烦恼？那么问题来了，去哪里呢？下片过度句直接给了答案：不如直赴青山岙，放任流云入怀抱。用山中的高洁之物竹与松来抒发词人的情怀。竹雨松风多或少。结句：无关案牍，无关机巧。人与花同好。承接自然的升华，特别喜欢这个结句！<br></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;"><br>6.【七律•拆】文/新难得糊涂</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">拆字殷红泼眼明，人间忧乐顿时生。闲庭空室惟恨少，破瓦烂椽犹力争。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">账上平添千万贯，梦中偷笑两三声。可怜创业十余载，输与颓龄楼一层。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">【临屏欣赏点评】文/三笑</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">拆字殷红泼眼明，几多欢喜顿时生。——一拆即富观念植入心底！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">穷阎隙地皆珍贵，破瓦烂椽须力争。——现实之象！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">账上陡添金百万，梦中偷笑两三声。——一拆即富圆满了</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">可怜创业十余载，输与颓龄楼一层。——尾联结的好！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">7.【五律•真的爱你】文/落霞孤鹜</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">又是寻常日，驹归大地空。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">南非曾下泪，记者亦失声。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">惨笑娱优闹，虚谈正义弘。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">吾侪当请剑，还世快哉风！<br>25年前的今天，香港摇滚乐队Beyond主唱黄家驹，因拍摄综艺节目意外在东京离世，以一种让人无限扼腕的方式，将生命献祭给舞台，那一年，他只有31岁。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">【临屏欣赏点评】文/三笑</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">又是寻常日，驹归大地空。——首联落笔就以一个看似又一个寻常的日子，很平静的笔调，引出驹归大地空，给人带来了一个不寻常的、令人扼腕的憾事，驹归大地空，一个“空”字，更渲染了人们的痛心。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">南非曾下泪，记者亦失声。惨笑娱优闹，虚谈正义弘。中间二联写当时人们对事件的反应，对仗比较工稳且表达了怀念之情，吾侪当请剑，还世快哉风！尾联转结有正义之举！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;"><br>8.【七律•蚁蝼】文/萧闲</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">难乘苇叶渡汀洲，可笑吾身本蚁蝼。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">世事兴衰辨时物，道心俯仰问源流。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">红裙自恋榴花色，白浪相期苏子舟。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">应念人间无退守，只争朝夕一蜉蝣。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">【临屏欣赏点评】文/三笑</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">难乘苇叶渡汀洲，为什么？答案来了：可笑吾身本蚁蝼，首联扣题，落笔自然。颔联和颈联对仗工稳且有人生感悟，尾联应念人间无退守，只争朝夕一蜉蝣。有生命几何时，慷慨各努力之境！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;"><br>9.【生查子·无双谱之剑侠篇】文/雕刻西风 </span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">百炼淬精钢，贯日虹千丈。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">入海伏鲸鲨，负手轻犀象。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">策马顾江湖，长啸凌云榜。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">剑起荡群魔，笑看风烟降。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">【临屏欣赏点评】文/三笑</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">很有气势的剑侠之咏，读之有看武侠剧之感。百炼淬精钢，贯日虹千丈。开篇就有宏大的画面感，接下来用入海、负手、策马、长啸、剑起及笑看6组动词来演绎剧中主人公雄霸江湖之盖世武功。结句纵江湖，战群魔，笑看风烟降是何等的英武与潇洒！西风诗弟是剑起无敌手呀</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;"><br>10.【七绝·蛙眼中的莲塘】文/雕刻西风 </span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">绿荷池上敛轻雷，缕缕凉风拂水来。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">珠露云何吹不去，无端佔我旧歌台。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">【临屏欣赏点评】文/三笑</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">绿荷池上敛轻雷，——一阵轻雷过后绿荷收获的是晶莹剔透的露珠（润荷之物）。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">缕缕凉风拂水来。——随着雨后的凉风游过来的是池塘中的青蛙（这句感觉到了青蛙的不爽）</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">珠露云何吹不去，——青蛙很无奈（自问:这露珠为什么就吹不走呢？）</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">无端佔我旧歌台。——青蛙自答：没有理由占我的歌台呀！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">这就是蛙眼中的认知，小绝语言简洁，寓意深邃，让读者可以展开无限想象，是蛙自私，还是眼界不够宽？还是真的委屈了青蛙？。。。。。。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;"><br>11.【采桑子•农民父亲】文/淡若茗茶</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">双肩担尽风和雨，五亩薄田。四口吃穿。撑起当年一片天。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">沧桑岁月惊回首，雪鬓霜髯。步履蹒跚。不见曾经背若山。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">【临屏欣赏点评】文/三笑</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">上片写父爱如山，不怕艰辛，有担当，下片用老了容颜，沧桑了岁月，来暗写父亲无私奉献的一生，尤其结句：不见曾经背若山。读来有酸楚感，有心疼感！唯有祝福慈爱的父亲老年幸福健康快乐！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;"><br>12.【七绝•洒水车】文/盖丁</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">不用行云落雨狂，指挥若定洗衢长。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">抽身躲避难逃走，泼我沾襟抖夏凉。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">【七绝•电子秤】文/盖丁</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">明明白白站人前，性子刚正不认偏。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">平素只持公允态，电光一闪乃青天。</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">【临屏欣赏点评】文/三笑</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">抽身躲避难逃走，泼我沾襟抖夏凉。——描写的有画面动感，仿佛让读者看到了诗人躲也躲不急泼了一身水的画面，——抖夏凉，抖字用的妙，抖夏凉3个字使小绝升华！</span><br style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, "Helvetica Neue", "PingFang SC", "Microsoft YaHei", "Source Han Sans SC", "Noto Sans CJK SC", "WenQuanYi Micro Hei", sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-size: 18px; font-family: SimSun;">平素只持公允态，电光一闪乃青天。一语双关，咏的好！不过我也见过一些小商贩的电子秤坑人的，就是把电子称不归0，要是买贵的东西也会坑不少钱。<br><br>13.【七律豇豆夏韵】<br><br>仲春安粒籽，眨眼过人腰。<br>架下偷偷醒，篱头荡荡揺。<br>恋晨贪叶壮，逗夕隐苗条。<br>暗绿争风月，今朝老叫潮。<br>【临屏欣赏点评】文/三笑<br>这首佳律很自然恰当的写出了豇豆的播种到成熟，仲春安粒籽，眨眼过人腰。首联的“眨眼”用的妙，架下偷偷醒，篱头荡荡揺。恋晨贪叶壮，逗夕隐苗条。颔联和颈联的动词用的也是非常形象“偷偷、荡荡”，一贪一隐反差手法，匠心！暗绿争风月，今朝老叫潮。尾联转结漂亮！</span><p></p> 沙发欣赏老师的美文 分享老师的精美文采 分享老师的精美文采 期待欣赏老师更多的美文 欣赏三笑老师佳作。 问好笑宝呗，欣赏你的精彩诗文 互动点评，相互提高，好文采，点赞！ 一个诗意的季节，一杯香茗，一缕墨香，一曲悠扬，
一幅唯美的画卷。感谢精彩分享，
中画有你相伴更精彩！遥祝夏安！ 幽园馨兰 发表于 2018-7-4 19:02
一个诗意的季节，一杯香茗，
一缕墨香，一曲悠扬，
一幅唯美的画卷。感谢精彩分享，
谢谢兰宝和亲们支持，一并问好！:hug::handshake
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