五律改诗一例
诗友泥和的男人有五律一首：<p></p><div><br></div><div><h1 id="h1" class="posts-h1" style="font-size: 25px; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); padding-bottom: 7px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: Simsun; line-height: normal; position: relative;">求赐教：五律•西安事变感叹（押肴韻）</h1></div><div><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'sans serif', tahoma, verdana, helvetica; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;"><b><span style="font-size: 25px; line-height: 1.5;">同根息争斗，异族正侵抄。</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'sans serif', tahoma, verdana, helvetica; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;"><b><span style="font-size: 25px; line-height: 1.5;">御虏挥戈刃，驱驽讨贼巢。</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'sans serif', tahoma, verdana, helvetica; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;"><b><span style="font-size: 25px; line-height: 1.5;">行军乏行李，诛敌赖诛茅。</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'sans serif', tahoma, verdana, helvetica; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;"><b><span style="font-size: 25px; line-height: 1.5;">七七端倪起，双双依约交。</span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'sans serif', tahoma, verdana, helvetica; font-size: 16px; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;"><b><span style="font-size: 25px; line-height: 1.5;"><br></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align: left; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 'sans serif', tahoma, verdana, helvetica; line-height: 28.7999992370605px;"><b><span style="line-height: 1.5;"><font size="3">自曰：</font></span></b></p></div><div><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; background-color: rgb(243, 243, 243);">1、拙作用平水韵，希望改时仍按平水；四联对仗，仍望保持。</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; background-color: rgb(243, 243, 243);">2、颌联略显直白，希望有更好的联句以承首联。</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; background-color: rgb(243, 243, 243);">3、颈联一语双关，自己较为中意，故不想更改，当然，有更好的，也可考虑。</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 22.3999996185303px;"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; background-color: rgb(243, 243, 243);">4、尾结不是很满意，希望得到赐教。</span></div><div><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; background-color: rgb(243, 243, 243);"><br></span></div><div><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; background-color: rgb(243, 243, 243);">我看了以后，答曰：</span></div><div><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; line-height: 22.3999996185303px; background-color: rgb(243, 243, 243);"><br></span></div><div><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">历史题材入诗有先例，佳作也不少。</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">无论什么题材，入诗，为的是抒情。诗言志，不假，也是为的抒情。</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">就西安事变而言，乃是一个大事件，西安事变重要作用的体现关键不在发动，而在其和平解决的问题上。张学良作为西安事变的发动者，同时也担当了促成其和平解决的重要角色。</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">那么，作为西安事变的感叹，是否围绕该主题展开？</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">鉴于上述，加之个人对于五律的习惯，可否这样——</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">同根何忽斗？异族正侵抄。</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">御虏挥戈刃，驱驽讨贼巢。</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">行军无行李，诛敌有诛茅。</span><br style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);"><span style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: Simsun; background-color: rgb(242, 242, 242);">七七端倪起，双双续约交。</span></div> 欣赏你的佳作分享你的快乐 独行剑客 发表于 2015-7-27 19:36
欣赏你的佳作
分享你的快乐
感谢点评鼓励。:handshake 独行剑客 发表于 2015-7-27 19:36
欣赏你的佳作
分享你的快乐
感谢点评鼓励。:handshake:handshake 独行剑客 发表于 2015-7-27 19:36
欣赏你的佳作
分享你的快乐
感谢点评鼓励。:handshake:handshake:handshake 独行剑客 发表于 2015-7-27 19:36
欣赏你的佳作
分享你的快乐
感谢点评鼓励。晚上好。:handshake:handshake:handshake
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