逸轩 发表于 2014-10-8 14:06

贼失笑的笑话

<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>一，最倒霉的贼</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>某贼，费尽力气翻墙撬锁钻到人家，欲行窃。翻找半日，未见半点值钱之物，正着急间，主人醒来见贼，笑道：不要找了，我比你还穷呢！</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>贼大怒：既然如此穷，还把院墙弄那么高，把门闩那么严干什么？有病！</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>二，笨贼</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>某贼半夜爬三楼行窃。先用长竹竿把绳子拴到三楼阳台，然后顺绳子向上爬。爬到二楼，裤子不慎被二楼的防盗窗钩住，连忙松手去解，却怎么也解不开，绳子也飘到另一边去了，就那么吊在半空，直吊了半夜，又冷又饿又急。直到早上警察出巡，大叫救命！方才获救。</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>被拘留后，人问：为什么偏找警察？答曰：有困难找警察么！</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>三，最无法无天的贼</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>某贼入室行窃，是从窗外沿着下水管爬到四楼入室的。得手后，再从原路返回嫌麻烦，就想从门口出去。不料门被主人反锁，大怒，遂闯入主人卧室，把主人叫醒：钥匙拿来！半夜家里有人，锁门干什么？</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>四，贪杯误事之贼</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>某贼入室行窃。时值夏日，酷暑难当。贼入室内已是满身大汗，口渴难耐。于是开冰箱找饮料。饮料没找到，却看到有冰镇啤酒和火腿香肠，于是就取出痛饮……</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>主人归来时，贼已喝醉，正呼呼大睡……</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>五，病贼</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>某贼因盗窃摔伤腿。养伤期间仍不忘发财。遂找一笤帚疙瘩用红布包了，让妻子把他背到路口劫道。见有人来，举起笤帚疙瘩充作**，大喝：把东西放下！不听话我要是站起来可就麻烦了！路人胆小，往往把东西留下就跑走了。</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>偏巧这天碰上一人不怕，操扁担说，你站起来有什么了不起？你站起来吧！</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>瘸贼怎么也站不起来，只好被人一通好揍……</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>六，成年贼</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>某贼到游戏厅抢劫，对老板大吼：把钱全部拿出来！</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>老板耳聋，未听清，大声说：未成年人不许入内！</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>贼顺手掏出身份证：看看！我已经是成年人了……</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>七，最守规矩的贼</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>某贼去银行抢劫，在一张取款单上写下：“抢劫！把钱统统给我”！把取款单递入窗口内。是日银行很忙，银行出纳没看单子就给推出来：排队去！贼看到排队取钱的人太多，不耐烦，就到对面一家银行去，还是把单子递进去。这银行的人未仔细看，撩一眼说：这是对面银行的不是我们的！</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>贼悻悻而去……</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>八，最岂有此理的贼</FONT></P>
<P style="PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; BORDER-RIGHT-WIDTH: 0px; BACKGROUND-COLOR: rgb(252,211,221); LIST-STYLE-TYPE: none; MARGIN: 0px 0px 5px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; FONT-FAMILY: simsun; WORD-WRAP: normal; BORDER-TOP-WIDTH: 0px; BORDER-BOTTOM-WIDTH: 0px; COLOR: rgb(73,73,73); WORD-BREAK: normal; BORDER-LEFT-WIDTH: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px"><FONT style="WORD-WRAP: normal; WORD-BREAK: normal" face=Verdana>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR><WBR>&nbsp;<WBR>某人戴一幅高级眼镜，被贼盯上了。贼拿一条带子从脑后绕到耳朵上，跟<BR>在戴眼镜者的身后。趁人多时，一把抢过眼镜，迅速自己戴上。被抢者大叫：谁抢我的眼镜？！贼对他说：高级眼镜一定要小心！你看我，眼睛后面弄根带子拴住，不就保险了？</FONT></P>

流年似水 发表于 2015-4-20 00:51

八，最岂有此理的贼

    某人戴一幅高级眼镜，被贼盯上了。贼拿一条带子从脑后绕到耳朵上，跟
在戴眼镜者的身后。趁人多时，一把抢过眼镜，迅速自己戴上。被抢者大叫：谁抢我的眼镜？！贼对他说：高级眼镜一定要小心！你看我，眼睛后面弄根带子拴住，不就保险了？

北堂青瓷 发表于 2015-5-7 21:18

我来看看咯。
页: [1]
查看完整版本: 贼失笑的笑话