网络幽默语录
<div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 要么睡觉，要么发呆，身体和灵魂必须有一个在床上！</b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><strong></strong></span></font><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br></b></span></font></div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><font color="black"></font></b></span></font><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 心跳定律：如果你吻一个女人，你的心跳达到250，那肯定是初恋。心跳达到180，那肯定是偷情。心跳达到120，那肯定是热恋。心跳达到80，那肯定是老婆。心跳达到30，那肯定是恐龙。心跳达到0，那肯定是心肌梗塞。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 一个人最长的恋爱史，大概就是自恋了…</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 现在才知道，为什么一到夏天了，失恋的特别多，因为两个人睡觉太热了，能一起热下去的都是生死之交。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 上课犯困时最提神醒脑的一句话是“下面找一位同学上黑板来做这道题”</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 早上赶公共汽车，到站台的时候，汽车已经启动了。于是我只好边追边喊：“师傅，等等我！师傅，等等我呀！” 这时一乘客从车窗探出头来冲我说了一句：“悟空你就别追了。…</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 我那么喜欢你，你喜欢我一下会死啊。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 刚毕业后会有期；毕业一年后会有妻；后来后悔有妻；再后来会有后妻；最后悔有后妻</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 心里有座坟，葬着未亡人</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 我允许你走进我的世界,但不许你在我的世界里走来走去..</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 要么忍，要么残忍</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 虽然你身上喷了古龙水，但我还是能隐约闻到一股人渣味儿。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 老子不打你，你不知道我文武双全。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 西游记告诉我们：凡是有后台的妖怪都被接走了，凡是没后台的都被一棒子打死了。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 我多想一个不小心就和你白头偕老。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 旋转木马是这世上最残酷的游戏，彼此追逐，却永远隔着可悲的距离。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 等待你的关心，等到我关上了心。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 我爱你时，你说什么就是什么。 我不爱你时，你说你是什么。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 爱.直至成伤。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 乐观者发明了游艇，悲观者发明了救生圈；乐观者建造了高楼，悲观者生产了救火栓；乐观者都去做了玩命的赛车手，悲观者却穿起了白大褂当了医生；最后乐观者发射了宇宙飞船，悲观者则开办了保险公司。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 理想很丰满，现实却很骨感。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 一个成功的男人就是赚的钱比太太花的多；一个成功的女人就是找到这样的男人。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 难免埋怨时间的手，把相爱写成相爱过。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 两个口袋的衣服叫学生服；三个口袋的衣服叫西服；似个口袋的衣服叫中山服；衣服上到处是口袋的，如果不是时髦，肯定是讨饭的叫花子。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="black" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b> 够不着吧，左脚踩右脚上试试。</b></span></font></div><div><font face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><br><font color="black"></font></b></span></font></div><div><font color="#ffffff" face="楷体, 楷体_GB2312, SimKai" size="5"><span style="line-height: 43px;"><b><font color="black"> 有的人活着，她已经死了。有的人活着，他早该死了！</font> </b></span></font></div><EMBED style="MARGIN: 5px; WIDTH: 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