逸轩 发表于 2013-9-7 14:01

网络爆笑句子

本帖最后由 逸轩 于 2013-9-7 14:16 编辑 <br /><br /><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;每次考试 我都好想在卷子上写满“百度一下,你就知道”,气死阅卷老师。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;像你这样的女孩就不能嫁人,就算嫁了 也是嫁祸于人</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;我胖的唯一原因,是太小的身体容纳不了我饱满的性格。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;月老,你是不是把我的红绳玩断了?</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;世界上很多事情本来没有对错,做的人多了就分出了对错。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;每次坐电梯,听到“叮”的一声开门声,都觉得自己在微波炉里,有时候里面还会有熟人</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;如果我在帅一点点、我陪你追天长地久</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;做人要"四个经得起":经得起看,经得起考,经得起问,经得起查。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;我喜欢你的性格,但不喜欢你的性别!网络流行语</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;如果你在大街上大吼一声”贱人“绝对比叫一句美女回头率来的高!</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;我们只要有一颗自信心,神马都米有鸭梨。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;等我找到男朋友,我第一时间就是抽他两巴掌,我得问问,这些年你TMD躲哪里去了。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;我们生活在阴沟里,依然有仰望星空的权利。</span></font></div><div><font color="#ffffff"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;小时候,同桌问我怪兽是怎么样的,我拿了一面镜子叫他往里面看,两秒后,他哭了。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;我认识的人越多,就越喜欢动物。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;新闻联播的牛13之处在于就算你一直在换台,也能完整地看完一条新闻。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;我的未来不是梦,我的未来是做恶梦!</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;原本想一口一口吃掉忧愁,不料却一口一口吃成胖子。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;爱我的请举左手,爱别人的请举中指。2013流行语</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">我&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;也曾青春逼人,可惜现在青春没了,就剩这么个逼人了。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;第一个知道牛奶可以喝的家伙,你到底对牛做了什么。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;我现在是思想很东坡肉,情感却很椒盐排骨。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;谁他二大爷的告诉我诺基亚能砸核桃,现在黑屏了。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;我不是那种落井下石的人,我是直接把井封了。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;不是优乐美,我只是敌敌畏,你想把我捧在手心么。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;偷吃不是我的错,是我嘴巴的寂寞。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;人生的悲哀就在于,当你想两肋插刀的时候,却只有一把刀。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;给我一个枕头,我就能睡上一个世纪。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;抬头45°只是为了不让鼻涕留下来, 低头45°只是为了擦鼻涕不让人看见。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;看天空的女孩是寂寞的,看天空的男孩是找UFO!</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;老天,我以后再也不叫你爷了。你压根就不爱我这个孙子。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;他人笑我看不穿,我笑他人啥也不穿。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;经常会从梦中惊醒,因为做了一个饿梦,好饿好饿的梦。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;他人笑我看不穿,我笑他人啥也不穿。2013网络流行语</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;我是多想跟你们讲素质,可我忍屎忍尿也忍不了你们啊。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;世上淑女不多,可装着装着就多了。</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;</span></font></div><div><font color="#ffffff"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;等我有钱了,我就带我最讨厌的人去最好的神经病院!</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;</span></font></div><div><font color="#000000"><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px;">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;若不弃,此生不离;若嫌弃,死一边去。</span></font><span style="font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px; "><font color="#000000">&nbsp;</font></span><span style="color: rgb(204, 255, 204); font-size: 29px; line-height: 43px; "> &nbsp;&nbsp;</span></div><div><br></div>
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